Yes, I am complimenting compliments.
For a while in my life I thought that I didn't take much validation from others, I rarely sought it, and I grew to make myself believe I was great, and I could achieve things through my own greatness. I thought compliments were found by the weak desire for people to seek false approval, that compliments were mostly in-genuine, fallacious ways of building bonds.
"Does my bum look big in this?" Is a common theme, while not so blatant, these validation seekers are an integral part of society, and everyone fears being at the sharp end.
Why? Because, like a starved vulture, she is searching for approval, comfortable deceit, you know that any straight answer you say can and will be interpreted the wrong way, so you have to resort to complimenting her to keep her satisfied until her next thoughts of self-worth kick in and you can feel her circling above you, waiting to pick the flesh from your bones.
Entirely metaphorical of course....
We teach people that humility is the best course of action, but how can this be possible when we take such joy from compliments? How can you teach individualism, pride of the self, then deny us its joy?
Everyone, great or small, believes they are somewhat special, but knowing that everyone else must be special allows doubt to develop, how can they really be all that special? This doubt leads to question of the ego. When we receive a compliment, we already know it to be true, it just settles the doubt in our mind, it confirms our pre-held belief that we are great, people are more relieved at a compliment than happy.
If we deny ourselves compliments, we have no arbiter but ourselves, how can we trust the self to wholly interpret itself, especially when conclusions seem to be based on mood rather than any reasoning? We either become unsure of ourselves or too arrogantly sure of ourselves if we give ourselves total assurance.
When a man is thought of being great, he is often compared to others, a part of six billion, a number so large it's inconsequential, but does it matter, is his greatness reduced? Other great men simply reduce his relative mean greatness, but this is also insignificant, he is still the same man with or without them, and he is deserving of his relatively measly achievement.
You can tell by those who don't take pride in compliments, because they are so arrogant they don't have the tiniest bit of doubt, they see compliments as realizations of other people rather than themselves. Of course, men are more arrogant than women, so men are less dependent.
You're great.
Probably.